he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize