Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
