can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
