No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
