garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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