ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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