are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
