I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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