hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize