don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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