So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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