yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
