So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i think i just naturally attract stoners
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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