Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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