Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
