Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize