sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
