He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
