I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
