dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
