Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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