I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
