you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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