hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
