just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize