is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize