her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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