i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize