Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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