Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
