Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize