its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
