How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize