it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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