Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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