Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
