Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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