I'm lost and stupid without you.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize