you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
