Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
