Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
