I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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