you mean i was at the winter classic?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
