Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
