Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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