My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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