I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
