It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
