Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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