considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
