The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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