i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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