All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
