and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
