I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Do vagina's smell?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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