I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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