Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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