Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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