So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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