I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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