No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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