she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So vagazzling was a success
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