This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
