I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
