when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
