i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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