Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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