so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
we should paint friendship bongs
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