I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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