Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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