i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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