Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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