so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
