it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You did what with his pubic hair?
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