from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
