Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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