I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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