I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Randomize
