Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
