i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
4 words: hood of his car
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
